Wednesday, February 22, 2012

But I Did Win the Lottery

Note: This post is late because I have been ill. Therefore, my next post will also be delayed meaning I'll be posting it about a week after the event I'll be writing about.

Doug told me about the latest Powerball winner. Someone will apparently be swimming in millions and millions of dollars soon. Whee! This, naturally, kicked off the latest round of "What would I do if I won the lottery?" Some of you may remember that this is how Doug got around to joining the Foreign Service. Anyway, we talked about hiring drivers and domestic help for our parents (my idea), starting a foundation (Doug's idea) and being able to overnight some Taco Bell to Tashkent (guess whose?) I was accused of not thinking big enough.

After our exchange of ideas, my mind was in that place it goes after awakening from a dream that seems so real it takes a while to remember it was just a dream. It wasn't until I was at the gym (where I do some of my best thinking) that I realized I've already won the big lottery - the lottery of life. I'll explain.

Of all the men walking, strutting, scratching, spitting, grunting and skulking around on this planet, I am with Douglas Rose. At the risk of giving my friend Julie a toothache, I'll tell you why I am the winner. Doug is smart. Yes, I know, I know - he married me. That doesn't change the fact that he is smart. He loves knowledge, he seeks knowledge and actively gathers it. If I want to know something I have two choices: Google or Douglas. He's loving. He cares deeply for those in his life from his family, me, coworkers, former classmates, etc. What affects them affects Doug. Doug is generous. He has given generously to groups, family and friends. His true generosity, to me, lies elsewhere. He is generous with patience, calmness, wisdom and love. He wants the best for me and, as a result, is very careful as to how he communicates things to me. I am more generous, less selfish, more disciplined, less angry, more patient and less reactive after years of knowing Doug. I got to this point because he sets a fine example. He doesn't point out my faults. He lives well, I see it and it takes root in me. Doug is talented. He won't admit that he can play the piano, but he can. We met singing and still sing together. He is an excellent reader and often reads to me - poetry, short stories, novels, whatever. He's got a sharp wit. He is truly a diplomat and a peacemaker. He's handsome. I'm very attracted to him. Put the aspirin away, Julie, I'm not going into details here.

Disease can be random, genetic or brought on by our own foolish behavior, but somehow I am living in this remarkably healthy body that has seen some abuse, but serves me well. I have watched friends who have been seemingly constantly plagued with nuisance injuries and serious illnesses while I 'suffer' allergies. I adopted a new motto in my life several months ago, "I love my problems".

There are fair weather friends, false friends and user friends. I have none of those. I have such an assortment of friends who surround me with an array of attributes that inspire, comfort and uplift me constantly - even long distance. They entertain me at my own pitty parties then, in a timely fashion, gently show me the door. They make me think. They challenge my beliefs by sharing their own and 'forcing' me to put into words that by which I stand so firmly. In other words, they make me a better person. And, the most difficult of all, they tell me the truth and demand it of me. I'm grateful for friends with whom I can commiserate. I am grateful for friends with whom I do not always agree. The only reason I can see to surround oneself with people who think just like you is to stagnate. No, thank you.

Have you seen the television show called Dirty Jobs? That's one side of employment. I live in a country where most of the people work seven days a week doing what they have to do in order to survive. They don't have the luxury of choosing a profession let alone a job. I have met educated people who are drivers or housekeepers because that is the only work they can get. To quote Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." But they deserve more. Their country deserves more. Though I'm not employed now, I have had great jobs. My work at the YMCA taught me to take better care of myself and gave me the opportunity to start an IRA. My temporary work gave me a variety of experience from jobs I literally hated to my long term job at Wells Fargo where I won an award (Temporary Employee of the Year!) and started investing. My favorite job, teaching piano, led to my furthering my education, improving my own playing (in order to keep up with my students!) and many, many memorable acquaintences and friends. I still think of my students daily (those I'm in touch with and those I'm not) even though I haven't taught for over two years. That's the impact they had on me.

I'm only beginning to realize how I won the lottery of being born in the United States of America. I'm not a flag waver and I have many problems and complaints with how our government and many of its employees 'work'. I feel I can say, however, that our government genuinely wants the best for its citizens and are willing to work to enable us to have it. Our government doesn't deny us access to the news of the rest of the world. Even some of the public expenditures with which I have problems, like countless international aid and endless local economic outreach programs stem from love and concern for humanity.

What would I do if I won the lottery? Save and shop, save and shop.

What have I done since I won the lottery? I'll tell you. Today at lunch someone asked me if I was working. Without a hesitation I answered, "Yes. Not at the Embassy, but, yes, I work at home." My job is to (not necessarily in this order) learn Russian, make Doug's life as easy as possible, see how far I can get with my writing, practice my music and learn more stories to tell.

Doug is away for a two and a half week yoga retreat in Goa, India. The first few days he was gone I spent sick and trying to heal. On one of those days I managed to do my homework, plus a little. I read aloud through a story I want to tell to a friend. I tidied up before our housekeeper came. (I know, I know . . .) Yesterday, I taught myself how to use the Russian keyboard to do my homework on the computer. Today I corrected all the mistakes I made and then started listing what we'll likely put into storage from our house here in Tashkent and what will likely go with us to Munich.

And there you have the biggest win of them all. I'm becoming the kind of person I've wanted to be. I'm using my time well (learning, cooking, improving skills, caring for myself) instead of lazing around. I'm getting (sit down everyone) organized. I set priorities for myself early on and I'm keeping them. I'll say it again. I'm becoming the kind of person I've wanted to be.