I turned 50 in Tashkent! I was very excited about this. I'm still pretty much a kid when it comes to my birthdays. I looked forward to my 10th birthday (two digits in my age!), my 13th (teenager!) 18th (legal) 20th (a nice round number), 21st (legal in more ways) 25th (quarter century) 30th (nice round number) . . . well, you get it.
I don't respect the attitude that some people have about bemoaning their age. It feeds the farce that we should all be young or strive to be young. I would not want to be 20, 30 or 40 ever again. No sir. The - how can I put this politely? - crap I went through taught me well, mostly like a cautionary tale. Relive it? You've got to be kidding me.
Now, if you offered me nine lives like the allergen ridden cat, you'd have my attention. If I had nine lives I think I know just how I'd live each one of them.
Life number one would be lived completely differently than the one I am currently living. I'd live independently. I'd live in the mountains away from all civlization. I'd travel the road alone. I'd take on odd jobs to support this lifestyle for a time. You know, sing for my supper. I'd be savvy. I'd be able to handle myself in any situation. I'd be street wise. Quit laughing, this is my fantasy. I'd love to hear yours, by the way. I'd have a string of lovers I'd never forget and some I'd never give another thought to. I'd always want God in my life. I just fear that God would be more disappointed in me in some lives than in others.
Life number two I'd spend devoted to psychiatry or psychology. I'd want to try to understand us. I'd want to try to help us. I'd want to study and learn all that is out there then research and add to it. I'd want to be the person at the party who told you what you really didn't want to know about yourself, but needed to know. I'd want to be the person at the party to whom people would approach, "I know you're not at work, but . . ." and they'd proceed to tell me their most intimate issues and problems. Or those of others at the party. Either way.
Life number three would be spent in the entertainment industry on some level. I have performed more than most people I know, but I'd love that to be my entire life. I'd go to Broadway and audition. I love the stage. I'd go to L.A. and audition for films. I'd sing in jazz clubs for nothing if it would get me in front of an audience on a regular basis. Heck, I'd travel the Renaissance Festival circuit.
Life number four would be spent writing. I know I have something to say, it's finishing what I have to say that I have a problem with. I'm not sure if I'd write for children, which I have, or adults, which I also have. Both can be tough crowds. Some days I think I'm better at fiction. I stay off my soapbox that way. Other days I can pen a pretty good, inspiring thought and think it needs to be shared.
Life number five would be spent in hardship. Perhaps I'd live in a war torn country, one that never knows peace. Perhaps I'd be a member of an aborignal tribe living remotely from 'civilization'. I may live in the inner city surrounded by drugs, gangs and crime. I'd fall victim to addiction for several years. I'd have illegitimate children of different fathers and rapes taken away from me. I'd certainly be money poor. I'd be homeless. I'd be ignored.
Life number six would be spent filthy rich. I'd love to know what it would be like to live with lack of money never being an issue. I'd travel. I'd eat out. I'd hire domestic help. I'D HIRE A DRIVER. I'd have a personal assistant. I'd give money away every day. I'd own a Rolls Royce and a good hybrid and use them according to my mood. I'd spend a year living on a cruise ship. I'd buy an island and have a house on it to escape to. I'd sail around the world on a yacht. I'd go into space as far as I could. I'd take friends with me on all these excursions.
Life number seven would be spent learning about and experiencing alternative healing, dream research, yoga, astral projection, tarot, intuitiveness, meditation, astrology and more and more. I'd spend part of this life as a vegetarian, a vegan, I'd live in a commune of some sort, I'd live in an ashram, I'd renounce all worldly goods for a time, I'd protest, write letters to those with power. Above all I'd do this peacefully and as non-judgementally as I could so as to have respect from both sides of an issue. Without respect, I don't think I'd have much of a voice.
Life number eight would be spent studying world philosophies. Just as my previous life was lived in various way at various times, so would I live according to philosophies about which I don't know enough in this life to offer details here.
Life number nine would be spent in spiritual service. I'd study the world's religions, eventually committing myself to my own personal religion. I'd spend time living in a convent and other places where the focus is on the spirit. I'd worship God and I'd serve people.
An interesting thought occurs to me as I write out my many fantasy lives. In each life I'd have the same soul. In other words, I'd still be basically who I am. Some of you who would ignore and judge me as the homeless addict with a fly-covered baby in my lap would seek my company in another of my lives. Interesting, isn't it. Perhaps a lesson for us all.
