What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?

Would you go to Uzbekistan for one? Someone may have because I passed a littered wrapper this morning on my way back from the Embassy.

This entry is a little premature (I’ve only been here about three months) but I’m going to tell you what I miss from the United States.

So far, without a doubt, the number one thing I have most often missed is a cold drink. So many times I long for a good old 7-Eleven for a Big Gulp of cold Pepsi on ice. Uzbeks believe that cold beverages are bad for you so Coke (Pepsi is very difficult to find) is served at room temperature. I only know of one person who would truly enjoy this; my old friend Beckie from Phoenix. We worked together at a Jewish Community Center preschool. During the summer (Phoenix, remember, 112 or so degrees) she would leave a can of Coke in her car and pop it and drink it at the end of her work day.

I have yet to find familiar-looking stores. For example, I saw a shoe store and went in. Without exaggeration, I’d say 98% of the shoes were black. There are a few things I need (sunglasses, an umbrella) that would be easy to find back home. I just don’t know where to begin looking here. When I buy bread, often it is not wrapped. It just sits there where people can pick it up and squeeze it like Charmin. Eeew.

I thought I’d miss Subway and Taco Bell. Although they still sound good I can’t say I really miss them. I do want the occasional sandwich. I haven’t found cold cuts yet. And bread is a dicey matter; most of it’s quite dry and either small or round. The food I do eat here is so good. The Embassy cafeteria has an excellent hot lunch M-F. Plov spiced vegetables, raisins and meat over rice is a national standard and is delicious. In place of a sandwich I can easily buy a somsa on the street. It’s kind of like a meat pie shaped like a turnover. Their inexpensive, filling and good.
It sounds like I’m fixated on food. I am, but that’s beside the point. Food is a daily need and we stocked up on other needs like clothing and toiletries so food is something we seek almost every day. There is a nice fruit/vegetable stand very near our house I go to once or twice a week. I am depending on Embassy food and small markets within walking distance. I have found pelmenni easily. Pelmenni is like tortellini. It is stuffed with beef, lamb or mutton and served with sour cream. Delicious.

Thank God for the Marines! Every other Friday they host Happy Hour. Their cook makes pizza. Their cook makes really good pizza. That’s a nice regular fix of home comfort food for us.

I had lost weight before coming to Tashkent and I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to keep it off. Unless I’m really lazy or foolish I think it will be easy. The commissary at the Embassy has American candy but it costs about $2. I love candy but I’m cheap at heart. I saw Pepsi at the grocery store but it was about $5 for one liter.

During this season I miss seeing more Christmas decorations. So far I’ve seen three trees: one in the home of a friend, one in the Embassy and one in a park in Tashkent. I saw lights once but it was hard to tell if they were up for Christmas or just general decoration.

What do I not miss?

I do not miss stickers on our food. I mean those nasty little stickers on every piece of fruit and vegetable in the store. The people who sell fruits and vegetables here know a kumquat when they see one and don’t label it. I know, I know there are different kinds of apples, lettuce etc. and it’s just too much trouble to LEARN to recognize them even if it is your JOB. (Pardon my raising my voice.) Just to be fair, I wouldn’t know a kumquat if it were growing out my ear. Or a papaya. Or an ugli fruit. Maybe an ugli fruit. But that, my friends, is one of the many reasons I taught piano and did not sell produce.

So far I don’t miss television. I didn’t watch much anyway, but I did like to watch while I was eating. Here we get a few stations on the Armed Forces Network. Oh! I also don’t miss commercials! They don’t have commercials! They have informative, public service announcements and short news breaks. The public service announcements are pretty lame – like a fifth grade class project – but they can be entertaining.
I don’t miss the predictability of everyday life. The ways of the people are so subtly different here it holds my attention. For instance if I am walking down the sidewalk and there are four people walking abreast toward me they don’t move until the last instant. At first I abandoned the sidewalk for the dirt thinking “How rude!” Not rude. Different. (Remember THAT post from my previous blog?) It’s easy to judge. But I keep thinking and maybe I’m understanding. There are three of them and only one of my; why should they move?

I don’t miss the traffic of the states. Drivers . . . oh, where to begin. Nuisances like red lights and lane lines are apparently there for no reason. They are merely suggestions. If an Uzbek driver can drive through a red light without actually making contact with another car (or a pedestrian) they will. It is typical to pull over to turn left only to have someone else pull up just past you on your right to also turn left. They will do this until they are three abreast! Lane lines are nonexistent or difficult to see on most roads. You just drive. Apparently, though, there are no right turns on red and this law they take quite seriously. You will not see someone turn right on a red light. Go figure. I mentioned in an earlier posting that the lights here flash green-yellow-red-yellow-green. If you are stopped at a red light and it turns yellow the car behind you will likely pull around you to go before it turns green. They, of course, will do this while honking. And they do not stop AT the red light. They stop in the middle of the intersection (IF, indeed, they stop) just in case they can squeeze in between cross traffic. But you know what? It works. It’s efficient. People don't waste time and energy and patience waiting behind timid drivers. And no one seems to get the least bit annoyed at each other. You really have to pay 100% attention constantly. The lights are not always obvious as they are low and of to the side and often set up so that the sun's direct reflection and the reflection off other cars distorts what color is actually lit. What's interesting to me is I don't see myself getting angry at these drivers as I would back home. Why? I think it's because this is the generally accepted way of doing things. It's the same if you are waiting for service. If there is a line, it's very common for people to walk right to the front of the line and the rest of the people to just stand there and watch. It’s almost like they have their own private world and, if they are headed somewhere, it doesn’t matter what is between them and their destination; they just go to it. I guess the Uzbeks are a mix of the very impatient and the extremely patient.

I don’t miss the abundance of smiles. Yet. The Uzbeks (and the Russian, the French and most of the rest of the world) are not smiley people. When he was living in Germany, Doug was once asked why Americans walk around grinning like idiots. I thought that was so funny. It’s not that they are insulting us. It’s not that they are unfriendly. I think they are genuine. If there is no reason to smile, they don’t smile. One needn’t smile to be friendly. I think it leaves people wondering what you were smiling about. It’s odd to them; it’s out of place. Think about it. I’ve always been one who smiles, greets and chats, I’m learning to hold my Uzbek poker face. I want to blend in. And I think that it’s a whole other matter here if I, as a woman, smile at a man. I know that when I’m introduced, a man will not shake my hand unless I offer him my hand. This makes me very glad before meals.